and it's only 10 am...

This morning my mother comes into my room at about 7 am. I'm already kind of awake because my 5 year old, Mikyla, is shaking me so that I will put on cartoons and feed her. I say, "ya. Okay, honey." and close my eyes again to leisure for one more moment in the in between place that one finds herself when first rubbing the granola out of her eyes.

My mom is fully made up and ready to go to work. She cheerily tells me that she put scalloped potatoes and candied yams in the oven for me to eat. I can smell the sweet syrups and cheeses baking and it's so luscious. I wish the mornings always smelled like that. I look outside the window and notice that a thick fog has settled over the neighborhood like a goose-down blanket. The fog here has a consciousness. I once saw a huge ship made of fog sail down my street. It stayed in the right lane of traffic and made a left on market. I thank my mom for the yams and potatoes. On Christmas day I griped that all I wanted were candied yams and scalloped potatos for Christmas and she remembered. She's a cancer, so a great homemaker, and I'm just so thankful that she is so nurturing.

She says, "It's New Year's eve and this is a great time for you to clean your room and organize your computer desk. You want to bring in the New Year with good feng shui, don't you? And you should make a list of your goals and priorities for the New Year. Don't you think?"

I say, "Well, actually mom, my New Year was Yule/Winter Solstice, which was the 21st."

She sighed, "Oh. Well I guess you're too late then."

I just started cracking up. I grab Mikyla for a big morning hug, chuckling away. She squirms away from me, complaining that I have really bad breath. She wants goldfish crackers for breakfast. I feel lazy so I say okay.

My mom leaves for work and my phone rings. C is on the phone and it's still early so I wonder if it's an emergency. "Oh my God! I spent the night at B's house last night and when I pulled up to my house this morning, M pulled up behind me!"

B and M are the two guys that C is dating. C is a good friend of mine, and one of the O.G. Venice rollerskating girls. She is heterosexual but she likes to make out with me when she's drunk. Honestly, I don't even know if she ever remembers it the next day though.

"He asked what I was doing and I just told him that I stayed at a girlfriend's house. And then he kissed me and I felt so bad."

"Why? He knows that you aren't just dating him."

"Well because I just had sex with B."

"Oh, so you feel bad because you had cock breath?"

She started laughing. "Ya. M might have some of B's DNA stuck in his teeth."

"Ahhhhh!"

Mikyla runs into my room to see what I'm screaming about. I tell C that she is punk rock. And no, that doesn't make her a bad person. She wants to hang out tonight so I tell her to call Jenna, who is my designated driver for the evening.

"I am going wherever she's going," I tell C. "So call her and make the plans." We hang up.

Mikyla asks me if she can go play at the neighbor's house. I tell her yes, excited because now I have time to go to Bloglandia (Davka's term) and get lost. And enjoy a little wake and bake while I'm at it. So here I am.

I am thinking of starting another blog. This one would be written in this style but actually be fictional. Without the restraints of reality, think of the adventures I could have! I want the protagonist to be a chubby exotic dancer who makes bank at what she does. She also has magick powers. She travels around the world going on queer adventures and saving the planet. She gets to do all of the stuff that I'm too insecure to do.

I am also going to buy myself a digi camera today. I left mine in Portland last summer and I hate not having pictures! Besides, I want more snapshots in this blog. I always intended to have lots of pictures in it. That's why it's called "snapshots..."

This week I am going to cook up a HUGE spell, which I will detail carefully in this blog. Just in case anyone is interested. This blog is like a journal/book of shadows but published for anyone to see. As a reader, you might know me better than most of my friends and family. It's because in virtual bloglandia, I am stripped of all the roles I must perform in daily life. Mother, student, friend, feminist, daughter, priestess, etc...each role dictates certain behaviors. Here I am free of all that. I just let it all hang out. I guess that's why it's so addicting.

As the calendar new year rolls in, remember this; the only thing that doesn't change is that everything is always changing. Embrace it, create it and roll with it. Keep your eyes and heart open. Change is a good thing in the world right now.