This is a silly thing people have been posting on facebook. Yet, I think the whole "random" part makes it interesting because what the author chooses to write says much more about the person then the actual facts. Personally, I'm not sure why I chose to talk about pee and spiteful things I've done. Was I trying to be funny? Am I confessing? Out of all the things I could have chosen, why did I choose these 25 to share with the world? Am I making some sort of statement? Try it yourself and see what comes up for you. Especially now that the moon is waning.
1. I wanted to try and be mysterious and not write 25 random things about me, but alas, I'm an exhibitionist and I couldn't resist. I'm like that flasher in the alley but in writing.
2. I have animals in my apartment. To be specific, 1 dog, 3 cats, and 7 rats. My daughter wants chinchillas and a baby brother. I told her she's dreamin'.
3. I really really love my dog.
4. Many x boyfriends have had their toothbrushes peed on by me. They all deserved it.
5. I've never put any kind of hex, bind, or any spell on my x-husband, nor did I get a chance to pee on his toothbrush
6. I have my prop 215 card
7. I changed my major in college from "health administration" to "gender/women's studies". Who was I kidding with that "health admin" shit. Like I could ever be that person.
8. I am a Goddess Worshiper. There are actually no male deities in my cosmology.
9. If I eat bread or drink beer, I turn into a drooling zombie.
10. I've lost the same 10 pounds at least 1000 times.
11. A psychic recently told me that if I go out drinking within the next two months, someone will try and roophie me .
12. If someone ever spit on me, they had better be able to run really fast because I would probably try and kill them.
13. I take krav maga, and so does my daughter. It is a perfect metaphor of how the oppressed becomes the oppressor. However, I believe that is why it is such a good system.
14. I hate that many people think it's weird to be a feminist. If you're not a feminist, then you don't believe in gender equality, which makes you sexist. It has nothing to do with shaving your armpits.
15. Having a kid was the best thing that could ever happened to me. But it's really really hard at the same time.
16. My dream is to live in a circular, straw bale house in the middle of the forest with two big dogs.
17. My mom tells me, "eat a frog for breakfast." and I reply, " 'cause that's the only way I can eat my own ass."
18. Sometimes writing can feel like really, really good sex. Sometimes it feels like a headache.
19. I know all parents say this but I believe that my daughter is the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on.
20. Being happy sometimes feels so uncomfortable to me. Like a new pair of shoes. At times I purposely wear struggle because it's more familiar.
21. People freak me out. Especially in face to face situations because when I get nervous I get sweaty. My friends have to seriously DRAG me anywhere or I won't leave my room.
22. When I left Portland I purposely locked my x-roommates out of the only bathroom in the house. I am vengeful like that. I feel bad about it now.
23. I am trying to eradicate the word, "bitch" out of my vocabulary. Why is it so much fun to say? I always want to say, "I'm a witch, bitch!" But it just wouldn't be right.
24. Many years ago when I was in Italy, Frank's cousin, Guilio, told me that the Italian word for ashtray was miportacazo. Which actually means, "bring me a dick." Imagine the hilarity that ensued.
25. I self identify as a woman, a mother and a witch. Other people may self identify through their job, or fashion, or sexual orientation, addiction, education, etc etc. I often wonder why we do this.
1. I wanted to try and be mysterious and not write 25 random things about me, but alas, I'm an exhibitionist and I couldn't resist. I'm like that flasher in the alley but in writing.
2. I have animals in my apartment. To be specific, 1 dog, 3 cats, and 7 rats. My daughter wants chinchillas and a baby brother. I told her she's dreamin'.
3. I really really love my dog.
4. Many x boyfriends have had their toothbrushes peed on by me. They all deserved it.
5. I've never put any kind of hex, bind, or any spell on my x-husband, nor did I get a chance to pee on his toothbrush
6. I have my prop 215 card
7. I changed my major in college from "health administration" to "gender/women's studies". Who was I kidding with that "health admin" shit. Like I could ever be that person.
8. I am a Goddess Worshiper. There are actually no male deities in my cosmology.
9. If I eat bread or drink beer, I turn into a drooling zombie.
10. I've lost the same 10 pounds at least 1000 times.
11. A psychic recently told me that if I go out drinking within the next two months, someone will try and roophie me .
12. If someone ever spit on me, they had better be able to run really fast because I would probably try and kill them.
13. I take krav maga, and so does my daughter. It is a perfect metaphor of how the oppressed becomes the oppressor. However, I believe that is why it is such a good system.
14. I hate that many people think it's weird to be a feminist. If you're not a feminist, then you don't believe in gender equality, which makes you sexist. It has nothing to do with shaving your armpits.
15. Having a kid was the best thing that could ever happened to me. But it's really really hard at the same time.
16. My dream is to live in a circular, straw bale house in the middle of the forest with two big dogs.
17. My mom tells me, "eat a frog for breakfast." and I reply, " 'cause that's the only way I can eat my own ass."
18. Sometimes writing can feel like really, really good sex. Sometimes it feels like a headache.
19. I know all parents say this but I believe that my daughter is the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on.
20. Being happy sometimes feels so uncomfortable to me. Like a new pair of shoes. At times I purposely wear struggle because it's more familiar.
21. People freak me out. Especially in face to face situations because when I get nervous I get sweaty. My friends have to seriously DRAG me anywhere or I won't leave my room.
22. When I left Portland I purposely locked my x-roommates out of the only bathroom in the house. I am vengeful like that. I feel bad about it now.
23. I am trying to eradicate the word, "bitch" out of my vocabulary. Why is it so much fun to say? I always want to say, "I'm a witch, bitch!" But it just wouldn't be right.
24. Many years ago when I was in Italy, Frank's cousin, Guilio, told me that the Italian word for ashtray was miportacazo. Which actually means, "bring me a dick." Imagine the hilarity that ensued.
25. I self identify as a woman, a mother and a witch. Other people may self identify through their job, or fashion, or sexual orientation, addiction, education, etc etc. I often wonder why we do this.
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3 comments:
I love your full disclosure 25. Frankly, it's the best one I've read. After the first few "I love my husband, I like to read, I am a choco-holic"'s, I have mostly given them a skip. Bo-ring! I love the peeing on toothbrushes thing. I always say it's the small revenges that are the best.
14 is quotable
25 informs that you care about other peoples enlightenment.
I've see a pic of your daughter and I think u may be right.
thanks, Thomai!
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