Thursday, January 3, 2013

Over a year went by and I posted zip


That happened. I could post about all the things that have happened in my life this year, like my dog died, I got a new dog, moved again, going to grad school online, blah blah blah.  I could also post some inspirational jargon on how I've had some evolutionary spiritual and practical realizations this past year or how I joined an insight meditation group and how this year is going to be really interesting and magical for various reasons.  I could reminisce about about the last time I made sweet sweet love with another human being or my last road trip and blah blah blah.  But, true to my nature, I would like to take this welcome back moment to rant just a tiny bit.

I admit that I go on facebook too frequently to be healthy.  Now that I have a supposedly intelligent phone, I find myself checking facebook while waiting in lines, and sitting in cars (not while driving, though.  I still have a few brain cells left.).   It's starting to skeeve me how mindless a behavior it is, much like thoughtlessly shoving a stale cupcake into your mouth.  It tastes like shit, but it's sweet in a false and empty way, like Splenda for your brain and heart. 

Facebook is this narcissistic universe where face shots are taken from good angles; where live sweet smiles with family members and thirty photos of each of the cool places you went; Instagram photos proving that you too, could have been a photographer; the 6 million photos of your children; your hipster brunch, and lets not forget the pics accompanied by long descriptions of what you had for dinner.  This shit is so boring that you wouldn't even put it into your journal, yet it is readily served for consumption to your several hundred "friends."

 (I realize that I am also included in the "you" I am speaking of.)

This parallel and virtual universe is where everyone is convincing themselves and others that their lives are much, much better than they really are, and that people care about them because they have 54 likes on their status update.  How many times do we see a status update telling us about your last herpes flare up and how you wish you never barebacked that guy on your fabulous trip to Thailand that we keep seeing profile photos of.  My case and point. Occasionally, we see a relationship status go from "in a relationship" to "single," and we shiver with delight about that girl's, who was such a bitch to us in high school but we couldn't resist accepting her friend request, life is not as perfect as it looks.  The only time we get a real glimpse into your authentic, inner subjective being is by your unrestrained political outbursts and the twelve petitions you post on the daily. 

When browsing our newsfeed, we can pretend that we are not feeling alone and disconnected to others, regretting some past choices and experiencing anxiety over future ones. That maybe we were meant for something more and have been procrastinating our real fulfillment because it seems like it may be too hard, or maybe we are undeserving of it.  That we judge ourselves and others and sometimes make decisions based on fear rather than love.  That we hurt, and if others saw this hurt they would reject us.

Facebook is an energy, a tool, and like any other tool and energy, it can be used to create something or destroy it.  Using discernment and self reflection, we can make a healthy choice.