Right before or during my mensus, my dreams get very intense. My dream life is pretty vivid normally but sometimes I have one that just stays with me. I had one of those last night, and I started bleeding today.
I have a dream geography. There are places that repeat constantly. I have different dreams, but the places are always the same. A hotel with red paisley carpet. An indoor/outdoor mall that has a special indigenous peoples area. Within that area is a Bontanico with all kinds of Goddess and witchcraft items. Adjacent to the hotel is an airport. There is an apartment building near a beach, if I walk on that beach I come to a long inlet to an island where the people are all pagan, and there are pagan festivals all of the time. Its a sanctuary for me. There is also a small town in the mountains, surrounded by forest. Behind the town are mountain paths and secret places. Before reaching those places there is a yellow house on a hill, surrounded by oak trees. A group of women have turned the house into some sort of Goddess temple, along with a pre-school, and I go to many different functions in this house in many different dreams. Last night's dream started in this house.
I grabbed a group of little kids including my daughter and my godson. It was night and there was no moon. It was very dark. I couldn't see but I seemed to know where I was going. We wound up a small mountain trail, surrounded by forest. I came to a grove of trees. I couldn't see, but I knew that the trees circled around me in a half moon. I spread my arms wide and turned my palms upwards. The children were behind me, quiet but not necessarily paying attention to what I was doing. Suddenly, a snake fell from a branch above my head and it sank sharp fangs into my right hand. My hand and arm felt like it was on fire and I grabbed the body of the snake with my left hand, trying to yank it off. It let go but then bit my left hand. I tried to crush the snake in my fist and felt its little bones begin to break. But then I stopped when I realized that I might kill it. I didn't want to kill it. I just let go. It released my flesh and fell into the darkness. I was no longer afraid although the pain was intense. I told the children to go back down the mountain and call an ambulance from the yellow house. I felt like they would have no trouble finding their way back. I wondered for a moment if I was going to die, but that thought passed, and I sat quietly waiting.
Now I'm living in Portland, Oregon, from Roslyn, WA, after leaving Los Angeles, CA in 2010. Searching inside and out for a new paradigm is my major goal in life right now. The patriarchal, racist and classist world that we live in gives me complete and utter indigestion (literally); so I continue on my spiral journey, keeping my eyes open for other worlds and drawing inspiration from those who are also searching.
("Sloth Womyn," is a reference from, "The Womyn's Holy Book of Mysteries," by Z.E. Budapest.)