Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Masturbation Talk

The other day my 5 year old daughter came to me with her pants down, pointing to her clitoris and asking, "what's that?" I told her that it was called a clitoris and was part of the most sacred place on her body. I gave her my hand held mirror and told her to take a look at her yoni. She was amazed. She kept saying "Oh my God! Look!" I pointed out where pee comes out and where a baby could come out someday. I told her that her clitoris was a gift from Goddess and that we can make ourselves feel really good if we touched it the right way. I made sure to tell her that under no circumstances can anyone else touch her there and if anybody told her different, to tell me right away. I also told her that the reason why we keep our yonis private is because they are so sacred as the gateway that all life must pass through. She wanted to look at herself more in private and so I gave her the mirror and off she went. All and all I think it went rather well, although now that I think about it I wish I would have prepared. I should have realized that this would come up and really planned for this opportunity to really educate and empower her about her own body.

When I was a child I began masturbating at a very young age, like 3 or 4. I think I figured it out so early because I was one of those kids that liked to explore my own orifices. A finger up my nose, a crayon in my ear, etc... I didn't have a clue what I was doing, I just knew that it felt good and released tension. However, when my mom had the "M" talk with me, it was quite different. She told me that it was a sin, and not only was God watching me but every one of my dead relatives including my grandparents were watching me as well! Talk about CREEPY. That disturbed me for a long time and even today I have to focus so as to not think about it. I never actually took a mirror and looked at my vulva until I was in my early twenties, and that is because I was auditioning at a strip club and wanted to know what everyone else was going to see. Also because my friend who got me the audition told me that I had to shave EVERYTHING, and I didn't realize how much acreage was down there. All in all, I had to figure it out all by myself. I wish that I had someone to educate and empower me about my own body. I'm going to do my best to make it a better experience for her.

1 comment:

Ojibway Migisi Bineshii said...

I am so glad that you are going to make this a better experience for your daughter! Sounds like are already off to an awesome start with her. The fact that she is openly curious shows great health with her body already!

I also felt that masturbating was dirty, a sin and that "God" was watching. Goodness, we really had to turn things around, didn't we? We had to learn to enjoy our bodies and embrace pleasure! I am still learning to do this because of sexual harassment and assault. But, I am slowly reclaiming who I am and my sexuality as a Goddess. As healers it is really important for us to do this. If we do this we make way for other women to say "hey this is my body, I love it, respect it and I am going to enjoy this Goddess give pleasure."