Just started bleeding this morning and it feels like such a relief. It's like, everything tense gets held in all month long and finally gets released when I begin to bleed. When I bleed I self nurture like crazy, self blessing and allowing myself some peace and quiet. I play my frame drum, whose deep, bass tones ease my cramps. I drink hot tea, smoke a joint and write, or just lie in bed and dream. I look forward to this time, it's me time, given by the divine. Normally I would be at school at this time, but today, I allow myself to miss a class and go later in the afternoon. Tonight, my rebirth ritual and work with Ereshkegal, Goddess of the Gateway will be much more powerful in the state that I am in. In fact, my self blessing this morning in the shower felt like a full body orgasm. Chills ran up and down my spine as I honored and blessed my body. It was so rad.
How can anyone deny that menstruation is some kind of crazy, intense magick! I mean, we bleed for days without being cut and without getting sick or dying. The blood of life! Our cycles match the cycle of the moon as does the Earth! No scientist can explain why that is. And what about when you hang out with a certain group of women over time and your cycle syncs up with theirs? Most witches know that to have a beautiful garden one must mix their blood into the plants' water to feed them. Menstrual blood is also used to amp up a spell. I could go on and on about blood mysteries.
I know that when I'm bleeding I don't like to be around many people. If I had my way, I would just lay on soft soil and bleed into the Earth all day. Right now, I don't have that luxury so I just stay at home as much as possible. I feel so sensitive, the slightest touch can hurt. Other people's energies are too garish for me, and I especially don't want to be around strangers.
Meditation is always good, anything that connects me to nature feels good. Bleeding is a good time to do Tarot or any kind of divination, and to access my womb goddess self, to aid me in creating my reality. It is also the time that I am reminded of death, and the letting go of all things, and the birthing of all things. The cycle continues but not as a circle. As a spiral. Each ring is different, expanding further or recoiling deeper within. The pain, the cramps, remind me that pain accompanies all the mysteries, life, death, giving life, dying and bleeding. I am also reminded of the labor and pain it takes to birth new life, and that each unfertilized egg that flows out is given the gift of my blood, and returned to Her. It is death, but not horrifying or scary. Simply A reminder that Goddess believes in recycling. A reminder that I too will return this body in the service of life. That my life, itself, is in Her Service.
p.s. I found this pic on Woministmusings, in her blog about menstruation. I just really adore it.
Now I'm living in Portland, Oregon, from Roslyn, WA, after leaving Los Angeles, CA in 2010. Searching inside and out for a new paradigm is my major goal in life right now. The patriarchal, racist and classist world that we live in gives me complete and utter indigestion (literally); so I continue on my spiral journey, keeping my eyes open for other worlds and drawing inspiration from those who are also searching.
("Sloth Womyn," is a reference from, "The Womyn's Holy Book of Mysteries," by Z.E. Budapest.)