Monday, November 24, 2008

(trigger warning) my assault story

well, it must be a dark moon again because crap that I have stuffed way far away is now surfacing into my memory demanding to be let out.

I think this is coming up for me because right now I'm working on a paper for my gender studies class about sex workers and how patriarchy keeps them stigmatized so as not to allow women the right to own their bodies and to keep sex workers "victims" with no civil rights. One very major problem is the vice cops that police sex workers. These cops can rape and abuse women with no consequences. One example is undercover vice will go into a strip club and if the cop cums while the woman is giving a lap dance, she can be arrested for prostitution.

Here's my cop assault story when I was a dancer. I so don't like to think about this EVER but here goes...

I used to work at this club in Glendale and these cops from the Rampart Division (yes, the ones who were going around beating up people in the ghetto) would come in. Out of instinct I would avoid talking to them, I knew that they were bad news. They would tell the door man that they were cops and get in for free and get stuff for free. Management always kissed their asses. Unfortunately, I caught this one officer's eye. Officer Rodriguez. I remember him well. He was young and good looking with dark brown eyes and a buff physique. Such cockiness and arrogance in those eyes. He asked me for a dance and against my better judgment, I agreed. Once we got into the booth, he immediatly grabbed me around my wrists and held them tightly to my sides. He whispered in my ear that I would do everything he wanted or he would arrest me. I nodded. He began to lick and suck on my nipple and then bit down. Hard. When I tried to jerk away he kept holding onto me really tight. He released my breast and began licking and biting my neck. "Do you like that?" It sounded like a threat. I said yes. Then he took one of his hands and found my pussy underneath my lap shorts. He inserted one finger, then another. He came pretty quick, then he smiled at me. "Good girl." He said. He paid me alot and then he and his partner left. I went straight into the dressing room and finished a 5th of vodka then continued to work the rest of the night.

4 comments:

Ojibway Migisi Bineshii said...

Holy crap womyn! I could of not survived that. I would of left right away. This is so good for you to share this. Have you ever told anyone about this or is this the first time you have written about this? Yeah, this is a great step towards releasing and healing.

Sex work does keep women stigmatized. I would love to read your paper once it is finished.

Sloth Womyn said...

I know, right? Shit is just coming up! Am I really prepared to deal with all of this? This is the first time I've even remembered this since it's happened. It's making me feel really gross. I'm thinking about deleting this post because I don't want my mom to read it.

Emily said...

dearest sister - i don't know what to say except it is good you are releasing this. Release into the dark moon, let it become the compost pile that will nourish your rebirth...

Tara said...

Oh gosh, Robin. I'm so so sorry that happened to you.