cold, rainy day...already into the witch's new year...
I'm back from my family Christmas gathering in the small town of Solvang. A Danish colony just north of Santa Barbara. It borders the Chumash reservation. There is a big casino on the res which attracts many people to Solvang now. It's weird, the Danish and native mix of people amongst wooden shoes, windmills and Spanish missions.
It was a sunny, crisp weekend. Perfect, actually. I hiked the most amazing, wooded path to a waterfall. The water dripping through the green moss made the side of the cliff sparkle and glitter, as if lit up for the holidays. I walked around tracing pentacles with my fingertips on trees and stones, honoring, thanking and praising. I whispered to the oak trees how I cherished them as old, sacred and wise. I stood on a bridge and threw tobacco in the 4 directions. I honored the ancestors of this land and their spirits that might still walk amongst the trees. I asked to be a part of the healing and blessing of this land and sent energy from my heart chakra directly into the old oaks.
The night before was hilarious. I walked with my cousin Michele, and my friends Jenna and CJ to a small bar in town. This was the stinkiest bar I had ever been to. It smelled like vomit and incense.There was a band playing covers. The lead singer had his pants up way too high, the drummer was playing an electronic kit. CJ got up and played guitar with them for awhile, and that was cool, until CJ broke a guitar string and this one guy got real pouty about it. I probably didn't make it any better, I drank copious amounts of tequila that night, and CJ said I kept making fun of the guy whose guitar string CJ had broken. Not very compassionate of me, I do admit.
The funniest thing was when we were outside and this guy turns to CJ and says, "Know how to tell if someone's a local?" He then proceeded to bash his head into the street lamp, which by the way is made of concrete, so hard that the lamp went out. He stumbled around for a second then offered us some "sugar booger." When we said no thanks to the cocaine, he grumbled and stumbled away in utter disgust.
I always wonder why the most beautiful places are home to the stupidest people.
It was a fun vacation.
Today I'm in my blue cave, blogging away, to my daughter's dismay. She is bored out of her mind. She wants to go to the movies. I'm still working on a pot of green tea and I have coffee to drink after that before I can even think of going out into the cold wetness.
I fell asleep early last night, forgetting that I was supposed to remove a necklace made from a knot spell out of yarn that I did on Hallows. When I woke up this morning it was sitting on my dresser. I wonder if I ripped it off of my neck in the middle of the night. It's removal marks the end of my descent and the beginning of a new life.
I want to meditate on my intentions. What will I put into my cauldron of creation? I'm pregnant with myself. What do I want to birth and nurse at Bridghid?
I know of three things that I am committed to this next cycle. Sustainability, Motherhood, Education, Self care.
I know that I will return to CSUN for the spring and make it my first priority after my daughter. I know that I will go to Montana in the summer, and build myself a little cabin out of strawbale. I also know that the Universe will surprise me with things I never imagined, just like last year.
Now I'm living in Portland, Oregon, from Roslyn, WA, after leaving Los Angeles, CA in 2010. Searching inside and out for a new paradigm is my major goal in life right now. The patriarchal, racist and classist world that we live in gives me complete and utter indigestion (literally); so I continue on my spiral journey, keeping my eyes open for other worlds and drawing inspiration from those who are also searching.
("Sloth Womyn," is a reference from, "The Womyn's Holy Book of Mysteries," by Z.E. Budapest.)