Thank you, vagabondastrologer for your comments. It made me curious about pluto and transiting and I found this online which seemed to really be on point. I copied and pasted a little of it on here but to read the full article by Elizabeth Spring, the link is: http://www.northnodeastrology.com/North_Node__South_Node__The.html
"You can get the good feelings back and reclaim your Soul. If you want to have a relationship with Mr. or Ms. Unattainable or have whatever Pluto has taken from you, then you’ve got to play at the level of Pluto. Suffer the lack of it. Feel and see what it is you desire. Name it. Pray and sing and swear about it. Then wait, and give up your suffering and let die whatever is holding you back from “getting it.” You will probably have to make some major changes—like letting one relationship die so that you can have room in your life for a new better one---or you may have to tell your friend that what she/he did was unconscionable and that you’ve had enough.
But don’t stop at the death part—keep going and take that 12 step program or weight loss plan or go back to school, or do whatever you need to do to bring the essence of what you desire into your life. Move into the labor, knowing you are birthing. It’s not all about the literal object of your desire. It’s also about how it all makes you feel. And there are many ways of getting at that. Use your desire--- your Venus energy-- to make the connections to other people and a new way of life that brings about the alchemical transformation. Create a transforming new crucible by eliminating what is not essential to your highest purpose. Release the old pattern or person in whatever way you feel called to--- and slowly begin to get out of that stew.
It won’t feel good at first to let go of what you’ve been obsessing about. But here's where 'the Secret is', and it's an old Jungian concept that is indeed a miracle. Now Carl Jung wouldn't call it that, but I will.You've got to hold the tension of the opposites, the pain of the situation and wait. You need to hang on the cross of your suffering and wait--simply holding the awareness that you can see no solution right now. But as you hang there feeling the impossibility of it all---and not trying to escape to a quick addiction or cheap shot solution, you will eventually see the appearance of "the sacred third." At first there seems to be no compromising point, but this new idea or solution or feeling will start to arise. And you'll start being able to sift through the muck and distill flickers of golden insights there. Use them to fuel your new actions and new life. Then you’ll be well on your way to understanding what the philosopher- alchemists knew---that what does not destroy you makes you stronger---and that nothing has the power to destroy your essence without your consent. But the Secret is in the waiting...."
So I think that I'm on the right track. I am just wanting to avoid the "hanging on the meat hook". But Really? I'm just supposed to sit and suffer right now?